Moving Through Grief
Feeling better won’t happen overnight. At first, it may be all you can do just to get through the day. But there is hope. Know that you will feel better with time, as long as you let yourself grieve. You need to grieve in order to heal. It hurts, but it is a normal part of healing process.
The first response
Your first response is often the most intense. You may cry a lot. Or you may feel a deep numbness or shock. Everyone grieves in his or her own way, but there are common signs of grief:
Having intense mood swings
Anxiety and loneliness because you are not with your loved one, and you want to bring the person back.
Sleeping too much or too little
Eating too much or too little
Having trouble thinking clearly
Wanting to be alone all the time
For most people, these symptoms lessen within 6 to 12 months. Talk to your healthcare provider if your symptoms last longer than 12 months.
Give yourself a break
Try not to expect too much of yourself right away. It may be hard to work, take care of the kids, or focus on projects for a while. Give yourself more time than usual to get things done, since you may be distracted. Take time for yourself. Do some things that you enjoy. Go for a ride in the country. Read. It may feel like nothing brings you joy. But know that time really does help.
Know your grief process
Let yourself feel all of your feelings and go through your grief fully. The process is full of ups and downs. One day you may feel a lot better. The next day, you may cry again. Try not to think: “I should be over this by now.” There are no “shoulds” to grief. Let yourself mourn your loss as long as you need to. Remember the good times you had with your loved one. It might help to think of ways you dealt with a loss in the past. That way grief won’t seem so scary and overwhelming.